I loved reading your intro and you have really got me interested in all of these kids of the gods and what happens to them in this camp. This gives me a Percy Jackson sort of feeling and I wonder if it is going to be similar to those stories. I love reading Greek mythology and anything about it so I am definitely looking forward to reading other diary entries that you will be adding onto your storybook. I really wanted to keep reading when I got to the end to see what happens next but I guess I will just have to wait for that. Are they going to be going on quests like the demigods have done in mythology? Will they just stay at camp and learn how to use their powers and control them? Do they live with their parents and if so which side? The human or the god?
Hahaha, oh my God I love your intro! It's hilarious, and like Shruti said definitely gives off a Percy Jackson vibe! Which I love because that series was my favorite in middle school! I especially loved the way you set up the intro to introduce your main campers and to show off the camp with the testimonial style. I find it funny that the camp counselors chose these quotes that reference drugs and alcohol haha but I suppose their godly parents probably wouldn't mind. I liked the layout of your site a lot too! Very pretty pictures and very clear links. I'm looking forward to finding out what the diary entries are going to be like and finding out more about life at Camp Olympus! Will their parents be making an appearance too? Anyway, great start to your Storybook! The only thing I would suggest is to go back and proofread a bit more because I noticed a few grammar mistakes with capitalization and commas, but the premise is great!
Camp Olympus is a neat idea! How did you get the photo on the side like that? I am so confused on how to insert photos and Google site... Your layout is very simplistic and easy to read. There is a way to include the link into the cutline, so the link does not show like that. Just letting you know in case you would like to change that. Great job on coming up with unique characters! Are these people camp counselors or campers? Their personas definitely show; however, I wish their excerpts were longer. In addition, I am slightly confused on why the campers are exclusive. Maybe because I never been to camp. I wonder if there could be an elaboration on that a little bit more. These are just nit-picky things, but I really liked your concept. Overall, good job! I’m excited to see how your stories develop.
Hey Molly! I apologize for the font on my blog. I figured it was pretty difficult to read and was hoping it would be alright for others. I've changed it as you suggested, but I'm glad you were still able to read my story without fail! I too am terrified of the ocean...I would actually rather be in a different situation than be stranded in the ocean! Thanks for the feedback!
Hey Molly! I think that Camp Olympus is a great idea. I think that it will be an incredible way for you to be able to modernize your characters and find ways for them to be more understandable to us. I think it helps often times to take a character out of the old and into the new. I feel that it can be a whole new pace of life for them. I am wondering thought, since the storybook title says Dear Diary, will we be seeing individual diary entries of the students or will they each write a separate entry a week? Or will you just be focusing on one character? I am also making the assumption that each of the characters is coming to camp as a camper and you will have other counselors? Maybe you will introduce us to them in your next post? I am a bit confused on that note. Maybe some clarification will help the situation? Other than that I think that your idea is once again amazing. Great job and good luck!
Hi, Molly! I loved reading the intro to your storybook. I like how you started off the intro with an advertisement for the camp. It was a great way to transition into letting the reading of your storybook know that the storybook would be written in the form of a diary. I think the diary entries will be an interesting format for the storybook. It will definitely give you the opportunity to give the characters their own personalities just as you did through their introductions. I did have one question though. The ad said that the camp is only open to gods and goddesses, but what about other immortal creatures? I think if you included them it might give you the opportunity to ad other characters into the mix. Just a thought. Overall, I cannot wait to read the rest of your storybook, as I really love your style of writing. Good job!
The intro looks great! I'm liking the whole Percy Jackson feel you got going on. I like how you brought in the "about me's" of some of the campers. With the link though I would "hide" it. when using google page there should be a way you can type something, highlight it, and then you can set a link to it with the button that a partial circle and has a line in it. The next thing I would change is by adding a little bit to the testimonials. This isn't too important but I think it would be better if you put the line *Campers must be Gods or Goddesses, or of Godly descent no exceptions*at the very end of your intro to look more like a advertisement. I am excited to see how this all turns out and and am excited to see what stories you bring into the mix.
Molly, the title of your story is what caught my attention. I was browsing through looking for a storybook to comment on and yours seemed the most intriguing to me! I'm very excited to see who all else is going to be coming to your summer camp! Achilles is always a good choice?! Plus, you could bring in Pandora, Hephaestus' daughter, more or less. Ah, and Hercules! If that's not the Zac character already lol. But those are just a few suggestions, I'm sure you have a lot of great characters lined up! Another thing I noticed is that it looks like your story is taking place in the modern times? I say this because of the names of the kids attending. Maybe you could elaborate a little more on when your story might be taking place, just for some added clarification. Other than that, I like your intro and I wish you the best of luck in writing your stories!
I love this idea for a storybook! This looks very unique and like it will be intriguing. The excerpts from the campers kind of reminded me of interviews they do when they follow around certain people on reality tv shows! Ha I am excited for the drama! I like how you developed the characters enough to get our attention and build suspense for what is to come. It also seems like there is quite a mix of personalities so that will be interesting! I thought it was neat how you incorporated how they were of godly descent and who exactly they were related to. I'm curious as to what your stories are going to be about. Just like the activities at camp? Or are their infamous, divine parents going to make appearances in most of your stories? I am excited to see what you have in mind! Great job on your introduction!
I love this idea! It definitely reminds me of Percy Jackson, and I think this is such a fun way to retell or use Greek mythology. I really like how you begin your introduction as if this is an advertisement for the camp. Now this is just a little grammatical suggestion, but I think you could put "about me" in quotation marks since it is its own section. It would make the sentence more clear too. I also love the little fine print of having to be a god or demigod. Very clever! Looking at the campers, I'm curious to see how you set up your stories, since you have so many characters. Will they be divided into two or will you be mixing them? Either way would be very intriguing. I like how you gave each character a different personality, which is very apparent even from their short "about me" posts. I think you could definitely add a little bit more about each camper, like what they like to do or more about their family. I also enjoy how you made each character diverse in how they write and how some write longer posts than others. Demi's my favorite so far, so I'm curious to see how you portray her. I really enjoy how you gave each character traits which their godly parent possess. It connects them even more with the gods and adds to their characters. As far as I can see, your introduction is really good. You could definitely add to it, but even if you don't, it sets up your storybook nicely. I will have to check back to read your stories when they are finished. So far, really great job!
Hi Molly! I'm a student in the Indian Epics class, and I am so glad I chose your Storybook to read. This is such a cute idea, and I really like what you have done with it. I am not all that familiar with Greek Mythology, so some of this was confusing to me. However, the Author's Notes were helpful. In your introduction, I was wondering if your characters were named/based off of real Greek Mythology characters? What if you added an Author's Note in your introduction about who each character represented, and maybe the basic personality/characterization of each of these characters? The first Diary Story was also very imaginable! I liked how I was able to really connect with the character. The author's note was helpful in telling me what the original story was about, so I could connect how you changed it up. Overall, this is a really great Storybook. I hope to select your Storybook again in the weeks to come, and see what other exciting diary entries are in store. Nice job!
Hey Molly, I really enjoyed the layout of this storybook. I love the idea that it is set up like a diary and that we are able to get a feel for the thoughts that the person is having every day. I think it is so interesting to use a diary as well because now a days people have everything stored on their lab top bases. I have not read the original story that you used, but I think that you made some very cool twists to the original. It felt like a younger version of things which I really appreciated as well. I also really liked how you had a list of the characters in your intro. It made it easier for me to go back and look to see what kind of person each character is. I can't wait to read more of your stories. I think your storybook is a wonderful idea with a lot of great things that you can mold into your own!
I clicked on your Storybook to read because the title intrigued me. I wasn’t sure if it was going to be a reference to the Percy Jackson series or not!
So far, it looks good. There’s a lot of potential for this style of story. For example, in the intro, Alexa’s blurb mentions she wants people to see past her looks and judge based on her personality, but in the first story, Penny thinks she used her looks to cheat. Since the story is in first person point of view, we don’t know whether Penny is judging Alexa prematurely, or if Alexa is deceiving people on purpose. Things like that create tension in a good way. I’m hoping for the next stories you’ll either have more characters writing journal entries, or have Penny learn and change her mind about the other characters. Seeing other characters write entries would be interesting mostly because you showed in the intro how different their personalities are.
Hi Molly! I'm definitely excited to see your entire storybook come together. This storybook reminded me of Camp Half-Blood from the Percy Jackson series, which is one of my favorite series I read as a child. I really like that you did the first story in a journal format, since that is what I would expect a camper to do.
For your intro, I think it would be helpful if you found images to use as a "profile picture" for each person -- so we can put a face to the names. I really like that you started with a message from the camp itself before transitioning to the camper bios. A quick nitpick about your grammar: I believe the "G" in God/Gods/Goddess should actually be lowercase to make it god/gods/goddess.
For the story itself, like I said, I really like the journal entries as a method of storytelling. I think it would help if you used more to differentiate the entries. Either some type of symbol (like "~ ~ ~"), or maybe using colored backgrounds to differentiate the entries. I think it would just really up the production value of your story.
All-in-all, great start to the storybook, and I look forward to checking back to see what other progress you make!
Hi Molly! Your intro was super cute! I seriously loved how you worked in all of the character introductions in a non-obvious way. It really felt like a bunch of teenagers posting their quick bios on a website, and I immediately wanted to read more. I would love to know more about each of your naming choices, especially why Hector comments on his name being weird. I'm hoping we will get to learn more backstory for everyone too. I really liked your first story! I think you should totally change the name to Week One though so that you can just continue going week by week. I also think it would be cool if you could move your ropes course image down to that diary entry, that way it will feel like she took a picture and pasted it in this imaginary diary. Overall, I am very excited for Penny to get all the gossip so that I can hear more.
Hey Molly! I really enjoyed reading your storybook! I typically love reading about gods and goddesses because the stories are so entertaining and crazy! I really like how you changed the story to a teen camp for gods and goddesses, but still stayed true to some of the stories and events that occurred in the original story! I loved the diary entries! I have been thinking about doing a story like a journal entry, but I haven't quite figured out how to do it yet. You did a wonderful job incorporating the diary and still telling a great story! I think I will try it soon and use your story as a guide! I am excited to see what else happens in the story! I wish more of the characters from the introduction were shown more throughout the story. I assume they probably are just unimportant to the story and character at this point, but since she is camp leader I would expect her to have some relationship with the other campers!
I like how you chose to format your stories as diary entries! This really allows the reader to get inside the heads of the different characters and understand them better because we have access to information that the outside world doesn’t. In the story about Penny, you did a great job introducing her character through the diary entries. You can definitely tell she is a teenage girl because of how you captured her personality in the style of your writing. You did a great job of making these believable diary entries while still recording all of the vital information that is going on within the camp. I think it will be cool to see all the different perspectives of each individual camper in your different stories. You sound like you have already thought of a great plan for the rest of your stories. I am looking forward to them! Good work!
I love the idea of gods and goddesses all going to summer camp together. I think I read a story earlier this semester of gods and goddesses going to high school together. Stories like that are really great because the author can decide on the personalities of everyone. In your intro, there is a link that shows the full address to where it's going and I think it would look more pleasing to have the link be something like "wikimedia" and still have it be clickable. I like the insight to Penny's mind via diary entries and that you can really know and understand how she is feeling rather than having a whole bunch of diary entries from many characters. I will admit that I was slightly confused about what was happening in both stories until I read the author's note. Maybe there could be a smaller author's note at the beginning or something like that to help those of us that aren't as familiar with the source story. I look forward to reading more!
Your first story is so entertaining. I love the character of Penny and I love hearing about her adventures from her diary. It makes them so much more personal. I like how you used a myth to create Penny's story. I will admit I didn't get the connection at first, but after reading your author's note I do. I think though if you're taking from the myth of Athena and Poseidon, you could use a descendant of Athena instead of Alexia. Your second story was really engaging as well. I'm just curious to how Penny can call her dad. Do they have cell service in Olympus? That's really unique. I like how you used the myth of Aphrodite and Adonis to create your story. I think if you wanted to you could add more information about what happened and more information about the characters. I'm also wondering why Penny doesn't write over the weekends. Does she go home? Maybe you could include that. I'm curious to how you'll continue this storybook.
I loved your story! I think that was a great decision making it into a summer camp and representing all the gods that way. I feel like kids represent the gods better anyways since most of the stuff that happened, could have happened at a summer camp. Having the story set up as a diary was very creative! It's a great way to retell the stories and I really enjoyed it. I also liked how you had an introduction to all the characters in your intro. It helps to better understand them while reading the actual story. Your little blurbs every day are very detailed and being able to tell stories in such little paragraphs is really cool. The authors notes are really helpful as well. Having those tell readers the original story and how you changed them really gives more to the diary entries. You're doing a great job! Can't wait to read more.
Molly, I really liked the idea for your storybook! This was the first time that I stopped by to read it and it was excellent! The introduction really does a great job on bringing the reader in. I love that each of the different sections in your storybook are different diary entries from different people. This creates a concept of really getting into the lives of these different characters without really using much description or place setting. It also allows the reader to have on omniscient style of view by going into the thoughts of the different characters. The introduction did a great job of explaining the characters but I definitely believe that the entries are what really make the personalities of the characters come to life. This is a unique story and there is definitely a lot of potential by writing a story like this. Great job so far! Good luck with the rest of the semester!
Hi, Molly. First off, I just had to read your storybook because the title was so interesting. I’m also writing about Greek Mythology so I was especially interested to see your take on it. I loved the idea of the teenagers at a summer camp. It almost reminds me of the Percy Jackson series. I also like that you gave each character a normal name and didn’t use already existing characters/children of the gods. However, I wish each new story was from the point of view of each character. For example, “Penny” would just be her entries and her point of views of Week One and then “Andrew” would be his views on Week One. Then each event that took place can have more than one story to it, because of course every story has multiple sides. I think it would have cool so see how Penny perceived something and then how Zac perceived the same event. I was also a little confused on the title of each story. I think it would have made more sense to title each story “Week One,” “Week two,” and “Week Three,” but these are just suggestions of course. Other than that I really loved this idea!
Hi, Molly! I’m actually from the Indian Epics class, but since this week was free choice, I decided to explore the Myth & Folklore storybooks! I was immediately drawn to yours because I’m a big fan of Percy Jackson and the Greek/Roman camps. I definitely like where you’re going with your story, and I was gladly surprised by the diary-perspective you took! Your introduction was good in that it introduced what Camp Olympus was and who the characters were going to be. For your chapters, it’s an interesting idea to have the chapters be named after the characters Penny will meet, but it was kind of confusing at first look because it seemed like each chapter would be that character’s diary entry. Maybe you could rename that chapters to something else based on weeks or events or whatever? Otherwise, the only other suggestion I would have is to expand your story a little more in each chapter. What you have is great, but I feel like you can be more descriptive and add more character development! Anyway, great job on your storybook, and I can’t wait to see the finished product!
Hi Molly, I really like the idea of your storybook! Are you referencing the Percy Jackson series? I liked the idea of the god's being characters in a summer camp through description and not their known names. It's important to be descriptive of each character and you did a great job wit that. You can possibly add pictures for the characters to further support your descriptions. I like your journal like approach to your story book and how you are focusing on a specific character in each section. The title of each story was kind of confusing when the story was read because it was not a direct description of the character. So I suggest you adjusting the titles. Great job so far, looking forward to reading more!
Hey, I'm back again! I love all your new diary entries! You do a really good job of making sure Penny sounds like a typical teenage girl haha. I love all the slang you throw in, and the casual drinking and smoking is definitely like a summer camp. The way you updated the stories to be more modern is really good too! They really capture the feeling behind the myth while staying more modern. I also really like the pictures that you pick for each set of diary entries, especially the goat one haha. That was a really interesting story that I'd never heard of before! Are you going to do a story more focused on Alexa? I'd be interested in hearing her point of view or more on how she feels about Penny! Anyway, great start and I'm excited to read more about Penny's adventures! Also, I like the colors you used for your site! It's really calming.
I think you had a great idea with this storybook! Your title is great. I love the diary format as well! Hat is something I have not seen in a storybook so far. I really like Penny’s personality! I think you did a great job of adapting the classic stories to create yours for your storybook, and your first story choice was a great idea as the first story. You have done such a great job with this! The way you connect the children with their parents is awesome. I like the diary form of writing because it is so easy to feel connected with this characters this way. The goat story was very interesting. I was unfamiliar with this original story, so I was really excited to read your author’s note about it. Will you write another story? I hope so! I want to hear more gossip from Camp Olympus!
Hi Molly! I'm really excited to have come back to your storybook. I've really enjoyed what you've done with this story. Penny seems like an ordinary, natural teenager, just with a not so ordinary parent. Your third story is really great too, just a little short. I think there's a lot you could add to this story. I have a few comments, but not many. I like how you had Penny begin to talk about the Zac gossip, but then she got busy. It really creates suspense. I am wondering how Demi knew about Zac. Does Penny wonder that too, or is she too focused on Zac's secret? Also, does she know why Zac was raised by a goat? Perhaps you could add that, either through Demi or through "high" Zac. I also find it hard to believe that Zac killed the goat that raised him. I know that's what Zeus did in the original myth, but since he's a god it makes a little more sense. How old is he when he does this too? You may want to make this a little more clear. I do like how in the end Penny tries to look out for Zac. That seems very kind of her. You mention the herb in your author's note. Are you going to write more on that? I would like to learn more about Zac, so I hope you add to this story. Hopefully these comments will help you to expand your story more. I really enjoyed it and I'll have to come back to see your finished storybook. I'm curious to see how it will end.
Molly, I love the summer camp diaries storybook you have created. It has allowed a quick fun look into some of the characters in Greek mythology from a perspective that is more relatable to the norm. I think the layout of your storybook is good also. It is not busy, just clean and to the point. What if you were to upload an image of lined stationary to your Google drive so that you could use it as your background behind the body of your pages. That might look kind of cool for Penny’s diary entries. I enjoyed the rivalry between Penny and Alexa a lot, but I think Penny’s reaction to Zac’s upbringing in her diary was the best. You have done a great job at keeping this in a tone that I believe a teen would sound like when sharing some juicy gossip and look forward to reading the final story.
Hey Molly! I wanted to check back in to read your final stories and see how you progressed throughout your storybook. I still love the idea that it is a summer camp and each character is a Greek mythology character. Your story really makes me wonder what other campers are thinking about people and if they would write the same thing. Did you ever think to include anyone else's diary? That would be a fun interesting twist and also just a suggestion! I like how the stories are told by Penny and there are a few entries for each character that she talks about. If I was to make any other suggestion, maybe to develop each character more in your stories so we get more of a feel of what/who they were. Also, with the titles of the story, I didn't really know what to expect, but I am glad you included a character list on your introduction so I was able to match the characters to that. Overall great job!
Molly. I was drawn to your storybook because I have a big interest in greek mythology and I love learning more about it. I think it's such an interesting topic because the stories are so strange and wild and intriguing, but I think they're often hard to read through entirely because they are a little dry to read. I think that your storybook introduction does an excellent job of explaining the premise of your storybook and keeps it light and interesting enough that readers will want to continue reading on to the stories. I think that it's a funny and cute premise. I read your most recent story and I loved it. I thought it was cute how they're set up like diary entries and I think that your story writing techniques are very realistic to how actual campers would write in their diaries. I think maybe your storybook could be expanded a little more on the theme; I think that the colors, pictures, etc. could be changed a bit to make them fit the theme more. Otherwise I don't really have any advice to add. I think you're doing a great job with your storybook!
Hey there! My name is Ali. I am from the Indian Epics class! I loved this storybook! This was super creative and very very easy to follow with the breakup of the diary in days! I wish there would have been more stories. You created such a unique scenario with the camp of the children of the Gods. You were able to describe and place the characters perfectly into your story. For me, I haven't read any of the back stories, but your author's notes provided the perfect opportunity to clearly see and understand where you drew your inspiration from. I think it is funny that Penny is so obsessed with the camp experience, but I have gone to several summer camps in my life, and they are always something to look forward to. Ironically enough I returned as a leader to some! You did a great job on this storybook. It was super fun and relatable.
I loved reading your intro and you have really got me interested in all of these kids of the gods and what happens to them in this camp. This gives me a Percy Jackson sort of feeling and I wonder if it is going to be similar to those stories. I love reading Greek mythology and anything about it so I am definitely looking forward to reading other diary entries that you will be adding onto your storybook. I really wanted to keep reading when I got to the end to see what happens next but I guess I will just have to wait for that. Are they going to be going on quests like the demigods have done in mythology? Will they just stay at camp and learn how to use their powers and control them? Do they live with their parents and if so which side? The human or the god?
ReplyDeleteHahaha, oh my God I love your intro! It's hilarious, and like Shruti said definitely gives off a Percy Jackson vibe! Which I love because that series was my favorite in middle school! I especially loved the way you set up the intro to introduce your main campers and to show off the camp with the testimonial style. I find it funny that the camp counselors chose these quotes that reference drugs and alcohol haha but I suppose their godly parents probably wouldn't mind. I liked the layout of your site a lot too! Very pretty pictures and very clear links. I'm looking forward to finding out what the diary entries are going to be like and finding out more about life at Camp Olympus! Will their parents be making an appearance too? Anyway, great start to your Storybook! The only thing I would suggest is to go back and proofread a bit more because I noticed a few grammar mistakes with capitalization and commas, but the premise is great!
ReplyDeleteCamp Olympus is a neat idea! How did you get the photo on the side like that? I am so confused on how to insert photos and Google site... Your layout is very simplistic and easy to read. There is a way to include the link into the cutline, so the link does not show like that. Just letting you know in case you would like to change that. Great job on coming up with unique characters! Are these people camp counselors or campers? Their personas definitely show; however, I wish their excerpts were longer.
ReplyDeleteIn addition, I am slightly confused on why the campers are exclusive. Maybe because I never been to camp. I wonder if there could be an elaboration on that a little bit more. These are just nit-picky things, but I really liked your concept. Overall, good job! I’m excited to see how your stories develop.
Hey Molly! I apologize for the font on my blog. I figured it was pretty difficult to read and was hoping it would be alright for others. I've changed it as you suggested, but I'm glad you were still able to read my story without fail!
ReplyDeleteI too am terrified of the ocean...I would actually rather be in a different situation than be stranded in the ocean! Thanks for the feedback!
Hey Molly! I think that Camp Olympus is a great idea. I think that it will be an incredible way for you to be able to modernize your characters and find ways for them to be more understandable to us. I think it helps often times to take a character out of the old and into the new. I feel that it can be a whole new pace of life for them. I am wondering thought, since the storybook title says Dear Diary, will we be seeing individual diary entries of the students or will they each write a separate entry a week? Or will you just be focusing on one character? I am also making the assumption that each of the characters is coming to camp as a camper and you will have other counselors? Maybe you will introduce us to them in your next post? I am a bit confused on that note. Maybe some clarification will help the situation? Other than that I think that your idea is once again amazing. Great job and good luck!
ReplyDeleteHi, Molly! I loved reading the intro to your storybook. I like how you started off the intro with an advertisement for the camp. It was a great way to transition into letting the reading of your storybook know that the storybook would be written in the form of a diary. I think the diary entries will be an interesting format for the storybook. It will definitely give you the opportunity to give the characters their own personalities just as you did through their introductions. I did have one question though. The ad said that the camp is only open to gods and goddesses, but what about other immortal creatures? I think if you included them it might give you the opportunity to ad other characters into the mix. Just a thought. Overall, I cannot wait to read the rest of your storybook, as I really love your style of writing. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThe intro looks great! I'm liking the whole Percy Jackson feel you got going on. I like how you brought in the "about me's" of some of the campers. With the link though I would "hide" it. when using google page there should be a way you can type something, highlight it, and then you can set a link to it with the button that a partial circle and has a line in it. The next thing I would change is by adding a little bit to the testimonials. This isn't too important but I think it would be better if you put the line *Campers must be Gods or Goddesses, or of Godly descent no exceptions*at the very end of your intro to look more like a advertisement. I am excited to see how this all turns out and and am excited to see what stories you bring into the mix.
ReplyDeleteMolly, the title of your story is what caught my attention. I was browsing through looking for a storybook to comment on and yours seemed the most intriguing to me!
ReplyDeleteI'm very excited to see who all else is going to be coming to your summer camp! Achilles is always a good choice?! Plus, you could bring in Pandora, Hephaestus' daughter, more or less. Ah, and Hercules! If that's not the Zac character already lol. But those are just a few suggestions, I'm sure you have a lot of great characters lined up!
Another thing I noticed is that it looks like your story is taking place in the modern times? I say this because of the names of the kids attending. Maybe you could elaborate a little more on when your story might be taking place, just for some added clarification.
Other than that, I like your intro and I wish you the best of luck in writing your stories!
I love this idea for a storybook! This looks very unique and like it will be intriguing. The excerpts from the campers kind of reminded me of interviews they do when they follow around certain people on reality tv shows! Ha I am excited for the drama! I like how you developed the characters enough to get our attention and build suspense for what is to come. It also seems like there is quite a mix of personalities so that will be interesting! I thought it was neat how you incorporated how they were of godly descent and who exactly they were related to. I'm curious as to what your stories are going to be about. Just like the activities at camp? Or are their infamous, divine parents going to make appearances in most of your stories? I am excited to see what you have in mind! Great job on your introduction!
ReplyDeleteI love this idea! It definitely reminds me of Percy Jackson, and I think this is such a fun way to retell or use Greek mythology. I really like how you begin your introduction as if this is an advertisement for the camp. Now this is just a little grammatical suggestion, but I think you could put "about me" in quotation marks since it is its own section. It would make the sentence more clear too. I also love the little fine print of having to be a god or demigod. Very clever!
ReplyDeleteLooking at the campers, I'm curious to see how you set up your stories, since you have so many characters. Will they be divided into two or will you be mixing them? Either way would be very intriguing. I like how you gave each character a different personality, which is very apparent even from their short "about me" posts. I think you could definitely add a little bit more about each camper, like what they like to do or more about their family. I also enjoy how you made each character diverse in how they write and how some write longer posts than others. Demi's my favorite so far, so I'm curious to see how you portray her. I really enjoy how you gave each character traits which their godly parent possess. It connects them even more with the gods and adds to their characters.
As far as I can see, your introduction is really good. You could definitely add to it, but even if you don't, it sets up your storybook nicely. I will have to check back to read your stories when they are finished. So far, really great job!
Hi Molly!
ReplyDeleteI'm a student in the Indian Epics class, and I am so glad I chose your Storybook to read. This is such a cute idea, and I really like what you have done with it. I am not all that familiar with Greek Mythology, so some of this was confusing to me. However, the Author's Notes were helpful. In your introduction, I was wondering if your characters were named/based off of real Greek Mythology characters? What if you added an Author's Note in your introduction about who each character represented, and maybe the basic personality/characterization of each of these characters? The first Diary Story was also very imaginable! I liked how I was able to really connect with the character. The author's note was helpful in telling me what the original story was about, so I could connect how you changed it up. Overall, this is a really great Storybook. I hope to select your Storybook again in the weeks to come, and see what other exciting diary entries are in store. Nice job!
Hey Molly,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the layout of this storybook. I love the idea that it is set up like a diary and that we are able to get a feel for the thoughts that the person is having every day. I think it is so interesting to use a diary as well because now a days people have everything stored on their lab top bases. I have not read the original story that you used, but I think that you made some very cool twists to the original. It felt like a younger version of things which I really appreciated as well. I also really liked how you had a list of the characters in your intro. It made it easier for me to go back and look to see what kind of person each character is. I can't wait to read more of your stories. I think your storybook is a wonderful idea with a lot of great things that you can mold into your own!
I clicked on your Storybook to read because the title intrigued me. I wasn’t sure if it was going to be a reference to the Percy Jackson series or not!
ReplyDeleteSo far, it looks good. There’s a lot of potential for this style of story. For example, in the intro, Alexa’s blurb mentions she wants people to see past her looks and judge based on her personality, but in the first story, Penny thinks she used her looks to cheat. Since the story is in first person point of view, we don’t know whether Penny is judging Alexa prematurely, or if Alexa is deceiving people on purpose. Things like that create tension in a good way.
I’m hoping for the next stories you’ll either have more characters writing journal entries, or have Penny learn and change her mind about the other characters. Seeing other characters write entries would be interesting mostly because you showed in the intro how different their personalities are.
Cool story, I’m interested in reading more!
Hi Molly! I'm definitely excited to see your entire storybook come together. This storybook reminded me of Camp Half-Blood from the Percy Jackson series, which is one of my favorite series I read as a child. I really like that you did the first story in a journal format, since that is what I would expect a camper to do.
ReplyDeleteFor your intro, I think it would be helpful if you found images to use as a "profile picture" for each person -- so we can put a face to the names. I really like that you started with a message from the camp itself before transitioning to the camper bios. A quick nitpick about your grammar: I believe the "G" in God/Gods/Goddess should actually be lowercase to make it god/gods/goddess.
For the story itself, like I said, I really like the journal entries as a method of storytelling. I think it would help if you used more to differentiate the entries. Either some type of symbol (like "~ ~ ~"), or maybe using colored backgrounds to differentiate the entries. I think it would just really up the production value of your story.
All-in-all, great start to the storybook, and I look forward to checking back to see what other progress you make!
Hi Molly! Your intro was super cute! I seriously loved how you worked in all of the character introductions in a non-obvious way. It really felt like a bunch of teenagers posting their quick bios on a website, and I immediately wanted to read more. I would love to know more about each of your naming choices, especially why Hector comments on his name being weird. I'm hoping we will get to learn more backstory for everyone too.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your first story! I think you should totally change the name to Week One though so that you can just continue going week by week. I also think it would be cool if you could move your ropes course image down to that diary entry, that way it will feel like she took a picture and pasted it in this imaginary diary.
Overall, I am very excited for Penny to get all the gossip so that I can hear more.
Hey Molly! I really enjoyed reading your storybook! I typically love reading about gods and goddesses because the stories are so entertaining and crazy! I really like how you changed the story to a teen camp for gods and goddesses, but still stayed true to some of the stories and events that occurred in the original story! I loved the diary entries! I have been thinking about doing a story like a journal entry, but I haven't quite figured out how to do it yet. You did a wonderful job incorporating the diary and still telling a great story! I think I will try it soon and use your story as a guide!
ReplyDeleteI am excited to see what else happens in the story! I wish more of the characters from the introduction were shown more throughout the story. I assume they probably are just unimportant to the story and character at this point, but since she is camp leader I would expect her to have some relationship with the other campers!
I like how you chose to format your stories as diary entries! This really allows the reader to get inside the heads of the different characters and understand them better because we have access to information that the outside world doesn’t. In the story about Penny, you did a great job introducing her character through the diary entries. You can definitely tell she is a teenage girl because of how you captured her personality in the style of your writing. You did a great job of making these believable diary entries while still recording all of the vital information that is going on within the camp. I think it will be cool to see all the different perspectives of each individual camper in your different stories. You sound like you have already thought of a great plan for the rest of your stories. I am looking forward to them! Good work!
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of gods and goddesses all going to summer camp together. I think I read a story earlier this semester of gods and goddesses going to high school together. Stories like that are really great because the author can decide on the personalities of everyone. In your intro, there is a link that shows the full address to where it's going and I think it would look more pleasing to have the link be something like "wikimedia" and still have it be clickable. I like the insight to Penny's mind via diary entries and that you can really know and understand how she is feeling rather than having a whole bunch of diary entries from many characters. I will admit that I was slightly confused about what was happening in both stories until I read the author's note. Maybe there could be a smaller author's note at the beginning or something like that to help those of us that aren't as familiar with the source story. I look forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteYour first story is so entertaining. I love the character of Penny and I love hearing about her adventures from her diary. It makes them so much more personal. I like how you used a myth to create Penny's story. I will admit I didn't get the connection at first, but after reading your author's note I do. I think though if you're taking from the myth of Athena and Poseidon, you could use a descendant of Athena instead of Alexia.
ReplyDeleteYour second story was really engaging as well. I'm just curious to how Penny can call her dad. Do they have cell service in Olympus? That's really unique. I like how you used the myth of Aphrodite and Adonis to create your story. I think if you wanted to you could add more information about what happened and more information about the characters. I'm also wondering why Penny doesn't write over the weekends. Does she go home? Maybe you could include that. I'm curious to how you'll continue this storybook.
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ReplyDeleteI loved your story! I think that was a great decision making it into a summer camp and representing all the gods that way. I feel like kids represent the gods better anyways since most of the stuff that happened, could have happened at a summer camp. Having the story set up as a diary was very creative! It's a great way to retell the stories and I really enjoyed it. I also liked how you had an introduction to all the characters in your intro. It helps to better understand them while reading the actual story. Your little blurbs every day are very detailed and being able to tell stories in such little paragraphs is really cool. The authors notes are really helpful as well. Having those tell readers the original story and how you changed them really gives more to the diary entries. You're doing a great job! Can't wait to read more.
ReplyDeleteMolly, I really liked the idea for your storybook! This was the first time that I stopped by to read it and it was excellent! The introduction really does a great job on bringing the reader in. I love that each of the different sections in your storybook are different diary entries from different people. This creates a concept of really getting into the lives of these different characters without really using much description or place setting. It also allows the reader to have on omniscient style of view by going into the thoughts of the different characters. The introduction did a great job of explaining the characters but I definitely believe that the entries are what really make the personalities of the characters come to life. This is a unique story and there is definitely a lot of potential by writing a story like this. Great job so far! Good luck with the rest of the semester!
ReplyDeleteHi, Molly. First off, I just had to read your storybook because the title was so interesting. I’m also writing about Greek Mythology so I was especially interested to see your take on it. I loved the idea of the teenagers at a summer camp. It almost reminds me of the Percy Jackson series. I also like that you gave each character a normal name and didn’t use already existing characters/children of the gods. However, I wish each new story was from the point of view of each character. For example, “Penny” would just be her entries and her point of views of Week One and then “Andrew” would be his views on Week One. Then each event that took place can have more than one story to it, because of course every story has multiple sides. I think it would have cool so see how Penny perceived something and then how Zac perceived the same event. I was also a little confused on the title of each story. I think it would have made more sense to title each story “Week One,” “Week two,” and “Week Three,” but these are just suggestions of course. Other than that I really loved this idea!
ReplyDeleteHi, Molly! I’m actually from the Indian Epics class, but since this week was free choice, I decided to explore the Myth & Folklore storybooks! I was immediately drawn to yours because I’m a big fan of Percy Jackson and the Greek/Roman camps. I definitely like where you’re going with your story, and I was gladly surprised by the diary-perspective you took! Your introduction was good in that it introduced what Camp Olympus was and who the characters were going to be. For your chapters, it’s an interesting idea to have the chapters be named after the characters Penny will meet, but it was kind of confusing at first look because it seemed like each chapter would be that character’s diary entry. Maybe you could rename that chapters to something else based on weeks or events or whatever? Otherwise, the only other suggestion I would have is to expand your story a little more in each chapter. What you have is great, but I feel like you can be more descriptive and add more character development! Anyway, great job on your storybook, and I can’t wait to see the finished product!
ReplyDeleteHi Molly, I really like the idea of your storybook! Are you referencing the Percy Jackson series? I liked the idea of the god's being characters in a summer camp through description and not their known names. It's important to be descriptive of each character and you did a great job wit that. You can possibly add pictures for the characters to further support your descriptions. I like your journal like approach to your story book and how you are focusing on a specific character in each section. The title of each story was kind of confusing when the story was read because it was not a direct description of the character. So I suggest you adjusting the titles. Great job so far, looking forward to reading more!
ReplyDeleteHey, I'm back again! I love all your new diary entries! You do a really good job of making sure Penny sounds like a typical teenage girl haha. I love all the slang you throw in, and the casual drinking and smoking is definitely like a summer camp. The way you updated the stories to be more modern is really good too! They really capture the feeling behind the myth while staying more modern. I also really like the pictures that you pick for each set of diary entries, especially the goat one haha. That was a really interesting story that I'd never heard of before! Are you going to do a story more focused on Alexa? I'd be interested in hearing her point of view or more on how she feels about Penny! Anyway, great start and I'm excited to read more about Penny's adventures! Also, I like the colors you used for your site! It's really calming.
ReplyDeleteI think you had a great idea with this storybook! Your title is great. I love the diary format as well! Hat is something I have not seen in a storybook so far. I really like Penny’s personality! I think you did a great job of adapting the classic stories to create yours for your storybook, and your first story choice was a great idea as the first story. You have done such a great job with this! The way you connect the children with their parents is awesome. I like the diary form of writing because it is so easy to feel connected with this characters this way. The goat story was very interesting. I was unfamiliar with this original story, so I was really excited to read your author’s note about it. Will you write another story? I hope so! I want to hear more gossip from Camp Olympus!
ReplyDeleteHi Molly! I'm really excited to have come back to your storybook. I've really enjoyed what you've done with this story. Penny seems like an ordinary, natural teenager, just with a not so ordinary parent. Your third story is really great too, just a little short. I think there's a lot you could add to this story. I have a few comments, but not many.
ReplyDeleteI like how you had Penny begin to talk about the Zac gossip, but then she got busy. It really creates suspense. I am wondering how Demi knew about Zac. Does Penny wonder that too, or is she too focused on Zac's secret? Also, does she know why Zac was raised by a goat? Perhaps you could add that, either through Demi or through "high" Zac. I also find it hard to believe that Zac killed the goat that raised him. I know that's what Zeus did in the original myth, but since he's a god it makes a little more sense. How old is he when he does this too? You may want to make this a little more clear. I do like how in the end Penny tries to look out for Zac. That seems very kind of her. You mention the herb in your author's note. Are you going to write more on that? I would like to learn more about Zac, so I hope you add to this story. Hopefully these comments will help you to expand your story more. I really enjoyed it and I'll have to come back to see your finished storybook. I'm curious to see how it will end.
Molly,
ReplyDeleteI love the summer camp diaries storybook you have created. It has allowed a quick fun look into some of the characters in Greek mythology from a perspective that is more relatable to the norm. I think the layout of your storybook is good also. It is not busy, just clean and to the point. What if you were to upload an image of lined stationary to your Google drive so that you could use it as your background behind the body of your pages. That might look kind of cool for Penny’s diary entries. I enjoyed the rivalry between Penny and Alexa a lot, but I think Penny’s reaction to Zac’s upbringing in her diary was the best. You have done a great job at keeping this in a tone that I believe a teen would sound like when sharing some juicy gossip and look forward to reading the final story.
Hey Molly!
ReplyDeleteI wanted to check back in to read your final stories and see how you progressed throughout your storybook. I still love the idea that it is a summer camp and each character is a Greek mythology character. Your story really makes me wonder what other campers are thinking about people and if they would write the same thing. Did you ever think to include anyone else's diary? That would be a fun interesting twist and also just a suggestion! I like how the stories are told by Penny and there are a few entries for each character that she talks about. If I was to make any other suggestion, maybe to develop each character more in your stories so we get more of a feel of what/who they were. Also, with the titles of the story, I didn't really know what to expect, but I am glad you included a character list on your introduction so I was able to match the characters to that. Overall great job!
Molly.
ReplyDeleteI was drawn to your storybook because I have a big interest in greek mythology and I love learning more about it. I think it's such an interesting topic because the stories are so strange and wild and intriguing, but I think they're often hard to read through entirely because they are a little dry to read. I think that your storybook introduction does an excellent job of explaining the premise of your storybook and keeps it light and interesting enough that readers will want to continue reading on to the stories. I think that it's a funny and cute premise. I read your most recent story and I loved it. I thought it was cute how they're set up like diary entries and I think that your story writing techniques are very realistic to how actual campers would write in their diaries. I think maybe your storybook could be expanded a little more on the theme; I think that the colors, pictures, etc. could be changed a bit to make them fit the theme more. Otherwise I don't really have any advice to add. I think you're doing a great job with your storybook!
Hey there! My name is Ali. I am from the Indian Epics class! I loved this storybook! This was super creative and very very easy to follow with the breakup of the diary in days! I wish there would have been more stories. You created such a unique scenario with the camp of the children of the Gods. You were able to describe and place the characters perfectly into your story. For me, I haven't read any of the back stories, but your author's notes provided the perfect opportunity to clearly see and understand where you drew your inspiration from. I think it is funny that Penny is so obsessed with the camp experience, but I have gone to several summer camps in my life, and they are always something to look forward to. Ironically enough I returned as a leader to some! You did a great job on this storybook. It was super fun and relatable.
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