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| From left to right: Tim, Slim, Me (Jim) Source:Flickr |
Sup, I’m Jim, and I am a farm mice with lots of siblings,
however 2 stand out among the rest. Tim and Slim (he’s small for his age) are
my brothers and hands down the best of buds. When we were born we narrowly
escaped a mousetrap, and as a result we lost our eyesight. Honestly, it’s a
pretty sensitive subject and we don’t talk about it much. Now that we are all
clear on this let me tell you how my bros and me were BRUTALLY ASSAULTED.
It all started when the bros and I were out minding our own business relaxing in the hot tub. You see when it rains, the water gathers in a pail that gets warmed up by the heat of the chimney. Did I mention this spa is on the roof? Anyways, being as we can’t see how were we supposed to know we weren’t actually in a hot tub and were mistakenly in a dirty dish in the sink?! I mean come on its an honest mistake. Just because music was playing and it smelled like an apple pie in the heat box doesn’t mean we should have known! So the farmer’s wife ran in on us, who was way rude by the way, and she screamed and grabbed a knife! A KNIFE. All she had to do was politely ask us to leave but no, she had to escalate the situation. Now I can’t speak for my brothers, but I would feel comfortable in saying that our treatment that day was totally uncalled for. Not to get into the details, but she grabbed that knife and now we are not only blind, but also tail-less. So being the strong, tough, noble mice that we are we pulled ourselves together and ran after her!
You may have heard in the tabloids that we were considered “fools” for this. However, I’m still alive to recount this story so who’s the real fool? I’ll tell you who, THE LADY RUNNING WITH THE KNIFE.
Now don’t get too worried she didn’t die or nothing, there was just a “tragic” fall and the farmer’s wife was injured to the point where working and maintaining a farm was no longer possible and they moved to the city. Now Tim, Slim, and I are praised around the farm as we run this place. So kids, there you have it, the tabloids had it wrong all these years and I wouldn’t believe everything you hear. Except for this. Believe this.
It all started when the bros and I were out minding our own business relaxing in the hot tub. You see when it rains, the water gathers in a pail that gets warmed up by the heat of the chimney. Did I mention this spa is on the roof? Anyways, being as we can’t see how were we supposed to know we weren’t actually in a hot tub and were mistakenly in a dirty dish in the sink?! I mean come on its an honest mistake. Just because music was playing and it smelled like an apple pie in the heat box doesn’t mean we should have known! So the farmer’s wife ran in on us, who was way rude by the way, and she screamed and grabbed a knife! A KNIFE. All she had to do was politely ask us to leave but no, she had to escalate the situation. Now I can’t speak for my brothers, but I would feel comfortable in saying that our treatment that day was totally uncalled for. Not to get into the details, but she grabbed that knife and now we are not only blind, but also tail-less. So being the strong, tough, noble mice that we are we pulled ourselves together and ran after her!
You may have heard in the tabloids that we were considered “fools” for this. However, I’m still alive to recount this story so who’s the real fool? I’ll tell you who, THE LADY RUNNING WITH THE KNIFE.
Now don’t get too worried she didn’t die or nothing, there was just a “tragic” fall and the farmer’s wife was injured to the point where working and maintaining a farm was no longer possible and they moved to the city. Now Tim, Slim, and I are praised around the farm as we run this place. So kids, there you have it, the tabloids had it wrong all these years and I wouldn’t believe everything you hear. Except for this. Believe this.
Authors note: This story is loosely based off of the nursery rhyme, "Three Blind Mice", where 3 blind mice have their tails cut off and chase after the farmers wife, who had cut them off. The nursery rhyme calls them fools for this and the rhyme is repeated.
Bibliography. "Three Blind Mice" from The Nursery Rhyme Book by Andrew Lang. Source
Hiya Molly!
ReplyDeleteYour story is super cute and funny! I love your use of bold and all caps, it definitely adds to the story! It is also really creatively written of how you enhanced the story and even gave the mice names. Your writing style givees me some ideas on how to improve mine and add some humor to it in order to grab the readers' interests. No one will ever get bored reading your stories!
Hi again Molly,
ReplyDeleteWow. Your story made me laugh a couple of times. It was very creative and I liked the way you took some of the seriousness out of it, and added in a more lighthearted feel to it. It was fun! Humor and laughter are some of the greatest joys in life. I couldn't go a day without laughing or being sarcastic. I tend to be more sarcastic when talking to people I know well, or even don't know well at all, just because I love to laugh and have a good time.
Molly, this story was unlike any that I have read so far in the class. I liked how you made the narration more casual and laid-back than you hear most of the time. It was sort of like Jim had become more confident and talked with a swagger after the incident with the farmer's wife! The use of bold and all caps was also unique within your story. I think that added to the personality of Jim. I could imagine him telling the story and gesturing the things he said in bold and all caps. Great story!
ReplyDeleteYour writing style is so unique! I haven't read any other stories in this class that are written as clever as yours. I like the casual and contemporary writing style you use as well as the dialogue. I feel like you really give your characters personality instead of just "lines from a script." Your writing really makes me laugh and I thoroughly enjoy it. I love how the humor in your stories continues all the way down to the way you caption your image. I can't wait to read more of your stories as the semester goes on.
ReplyDelete